What has *ALW* ever done for you?
These are a selection of comments / case studies where *a little wish* has provided information to allow others to make a more informed decision, and the consequences of those decisions.
Case Studies ...
Katie, Australia - tried to learn from her previous experience
Comments ...
Samantha, February 2001
Dear Anna
I just read your web page and I cried the entire time. I was looking on the net to try and find someone who had been through the same thing. Oh well, thanks so much for your story. It made me feel as if I'm not alone in this, although it sure seems lonely. No one understands unless they've been there, not even my husband.
Annie, May 2001
Dear Anna,
I thought I was the only person in the world that had gone through this experience!!! Had an emergency hysterectomy during a third elective c-section, four and a half months ago. I`m only now starting to realise the long term effects.
Angela, 22 May 2001
Dear Anna
"Something else which may give you some hope - a good friend of mine the other day was telling me about this story she'd read on the Web, and how she'd cried while reading it, and how it had made her determined to avoid going into hospital - and I started to recognise the details, and it was yours.
Another mother I email with, whose baby died, said that having read your story she did feel that she should count her blessings, because she could still have another baby - and if she'd been through what you went through, she would have fallen to pieces. Her situation was that most obs would have recommended a CS, but she had a vaginal birth. The baby's death doesn't seem to be connected to that, though - if she'd had the CS she would have a dead baby and a CS. She has a hospital phobia so that would have been completely devastating, as opposed to just devastating... She remembered you from the UK Midwifery list and was amazed that you had so much strength to campaign and tell people about hysterectomies. So you really are making a difference to people's lives."
Jamie, January 2002
Hi Anna, I read your story and I've been looking for someone like you. I have had one vaginal birth, two c sections and am going to do a home vbac in 5 weeks. My doctor is absolutely against the vbac and wants me to do an elective c section ( of course).
I have read and read about the safety of vbacs and risks of c section. why don't they tell you about that? all they say is my uterus might rupture.
I think it's horrible, horrible, what they did to you. I can understand you are not grateful for being "saved" by your hysterectomy. what a terrible outcome, that you alone have to live with.
Everyone in the medical profession, except my midwives, who are doing my home birth, have told me about the safety, convenience of a repeat c-section. truthfully, I haven’t told anyone about doing a homebirth because I don't want to hear it. My doctor doesn’t know, he thinks I'm going to the hospital for a vbac. I plan on just calling him when it's over and telling him the bay "fell out".
Anyways I'm really sick and sorry for what happened to you. However, you've given my heart to carry on with what I feel is right. thanks again-jamie
*****
My girlfriend who has the fibroids who was told to get a hysterectomy says thank you to you! we searched the internet for myomectomy and found a doctor in California’s website. he is an expert in it and explained everything about fibroids. he said absolutely do not get a hysterectomy for fibroids. Robin was so grateful to hear that cause she doesn’t want one. thanks again. so now she'll search for a doctor in michigan who does myomectomies.
Yaz, January 2002
Dear Anna
I've just finished reading your account and found it heart-warming that someone else has the same feelings and fears that I have.
Ali, August 2002
Dear Anna
I have just read your web site and has brought a chill down my spine to hear that it has happened again to someone else.
Ruby, 9 March 2003
Hi Anna,
-I am an expecting mum reading about home births, and followed a link to your story on a midwifery site. I just wanted to write, not that I have any great wisdom to add, but simply to say thank you for sharing a part of your story so that other women can be aware that there are dangers we ought to know about.
- I read an abbreviated excerpt of your story, so I don't know if you feel your caesarean was appropriate in the first place, but I am so sorry that the repercussions have been so ugly for you.
- Your story is one unlike any other I have heard. I hope your site helps you to make your story, and the stories of others in similar situations, well know. May you have a voice politically in the UK, and may you bring seriously needed changes to women's health care.
- Bless you heaps, Ruby
Bonnie, 2 May 2003
Dear anna,
Your (original) website looks awesome - great job.
Isabelle, 23 May 2003
CONGRATULATIONS on the (original) Web Site, just had a quick look at it.....good on ya
Laura, 8 May 2003
Dear Anna,
- I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what happened to you. I read your story or part of it on the ARM site and have heartfelt sympathy for what you must have/ are going through....
- And Iwas so struck by the irony of it all when I read your story.. I needed surgery and was ignored and you appear to have had it without needing it… what are they playing at? I do wish you all the best.
With love, Laura
*
Dear Anna,
I`ve just read your full story....what a nightmare.. I`m so sorry you’ve had to suffer like this. It makes me sooo mad. What has happened to you is so shocking. What I am so appalled at too is the lack of empathy with you.
Lots of love to you, Laura
Jenny, 11 August 2003
- I read your website, there are no words....
- I understand now why you have a website, and why it is called that. I worked originally with NCT because I wanted to help encourage mums to go to ante natal classes so that they could make informed decisions... but I have never heard of a case like yours. I have known mums to have episiotomies without consent.
- Words fail me, the word sorry sounds so inadequate, bit I am sorry that you have gone through all of that and still suffer the consequences.
Anna’s husband, 2003
Never expected the (original website) site to grow so much! I only thought you wanted to do a few pages with a couple of personal accounts. Excellent, well done. Lets hope it stops other wives, husbands and families going though this!
Gina, 22 December 2003
Your story needs to be heard by many...
AC friend of Anna (Advice from a friend), June 2004
A little over 6 years ago something happened to my dearest friend. As a male I could not even begin to comprehend the enormity of what had happened...the trauma, the violation of her motherhood. I cannot think of anything that could be done to me which I would imagine as having the same effect both physically and emotionally. What did I do? Nothing. What's worse is that I didn't realise what signals my inactivity was sending out. I either couldn't cope, or didn't know how to. I froze. As a result I very nearly lost a special friendship.
Nowadays I help where I can, searching the internet for information. I can't change the past any more that anyone else, but I hope I can be of some help.
To any husband/partner out there I say this: Think to yourself how you might feel if you were diagnosed with testicular cancer, requiring removal of one or both testes. Try to imagine the psychological impact such an event is likely to have on you. Think hard, then multiply that impact 10 or 100 or 1000 times. Feel a sense of loss? Well think again. The loss you feel is as nothing compared to that felt by a loved one who's had something far far worse done to them, WITHOUT their consent and WITHOUT medical "justification". Don't make the same mistake I did. BE THERE for her. Find out all you can about what's happened, after all,
DOCTORS ARE NOT GODS
They may think they are, but they're imbued with the same failings as everyone else. They're fallible. They make mistakes. They have an over-inflated view of their importance. Good ones will admit when they've made a mistake. Bad ones (of which, sadly, there are far too many) will do their best to cover up. KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS!
The (original) website appears to be coming along nicely. The biggest problem so far appears to be in obtaining hard, well documented statistics, which would perhaps need to be identified with their country of origin so as to show any differences in practices between countries.
Bettina, 19th August 2008
I think its great that a forum such as this exits and support is out there for those dealing with their loss of fertility and that possible connections can be made to help with fertility issues. Its definitely made me more aware of the need there is for this sort of support.
Great work to all those who have worked so hard to set this up.
Jolanda, 7th November 2008
I bumped in to your website via an email on a yahoo group and I'm very exited about it. I've seen a lot of my friends going through some of the issues mentioned on the site and I know it's so important that there is a place to recieve help and comfort.
Keep up the good work.