Bonnie's Account

Post Pregnancy Hysterectomy after Elective Caesarean from British Columbia, Canada
Without consent (however we understand the law to be different in Canada)

(Sub-total Abdominal Hysterectomy)

I had an uneventful pregnancy. A little morning sickness, normal weight gain, really everything was NORMAL.

17 November 2001

Of course as this is the day my midwife was out of town this is the day I would go into labor. After 12 hours of labor and a loss of blood that I found overwhelming but was told is common, and about two and a half hours of pushing the on-call doctor gave me the option of forceps or c-section. To me both where very scary, as I had no idea what either really entailed. I don't remember how we made the decision, as anybody tired and in a ton of pain can understand I was not thinking clearly, and had never been talked to about either option with my midwife. So away to the c-section we went. I was so scared about being "cut open" all I could do was cry. In the operating room the c-section went off "smoothly", after a lot of tugging and pulling my healthy 8 pound 2 and a half ounce son was born. I was able to give him a kiss, but then he was taken to be measured and such. In the recovery room, I tried breast feeding my son, but was soon feeling quite out of it and very dizzy, they took my son. I told the nurse that my eyesight had gone blurry. Next thing I know the doctor was shaking me and telling me that I would be going back into surgery and at worst I would need a hysterectomy, all I could do was whisper "no". I was then back under. When I awoke in intensive care, to my husband holding my hand, I was confused but had a horrible feeling. Soon after a nurse said "oh you know you had a hysterectomy right?" I did not know. Instantly I broke down in tears. This was my first child, and I had had ever intention of having more.

As my doctors told it :

In the recovery room after my c-section I was bleeding a lot and my uterus would not contract as it should after delivering a child. I was taken into the operating room where surgical bleeding was found and doctored. But this did not stop the bleeding, and my uterus would still not contract. They gave me drugs to kick start my uterus but to no avail. So back to the operating room I went where they found more surgical bleeding. It was then decided by the doctors to go ahead with a hysterectomy to ensure my survival. They removed my uterus but left my cervix and ovaries. They told me it is difficult to know how much of the uterus to take after a pregnancy because the uterus is so enlarged. Further bleeding persisted so they made a new abdominal incision, "fixed me up" some more, and stitched me back up again. Finally the bleeding stopped.

(I do have all this in my doctor's notes but there is a lot of "doctor-talk")

In total I had been given eighteen units of packed cells and seven units of fresh frozen plasma.

My husband waited many hours scared and worried, while I lay on that operating table.

I was in intensive care for 4 days, with very brief visits with my son. After nine months of being together being without him was horrible. The doctor was kind and felt bad about having to do the hysterectomy, but felt there was no other choice. I was given all the morphine I could want. Then only time I didn't use the morphine was when my son was in my arms. I was finally taken to the maternity ward, they brought me my son and I never let him go again. My husband, son and I stayed in that dingy hospital room for 3 days and then went home. Nobody really knew how to treat me as this does not happen very often. The nurses were good although very over worked. Because of the loss of blood and the time without my son it took three weeks of supplementing, nursing, pumping, pills and monitoring to get on the breast feeding track. But after that both my son and I loved it. I left the hospital ten pounds lighter than before I had even got pregnant.

13 March 2003 - 24 years old

Today I have scares on my stomach that look like a huge arrow pointing down. A wonderful son, and an overwhelming sadness of never being able to have another child.

I have about one and a half centimetres of a uterus left (a lot of good that does me) and a lot internal scarring. I am glad that only my uterus was removed, I still feel like "me" and I still get PMS, just without the bleeding and the cramps.

I have nightmares of being in the hospital, especially when it is time for a visit to the doctor. I wonder why me, some days I wonder if I will wake up and it will have been a dream and I really am able to have more children. The reality is sharp. I always wanted to be mommy with lots of children. Every day I say thanks for my son being healthy, and I am glad to be alive and here with him. And every day I mourn the loss of the children I will never have.