Extending your Family

This is a section that may or may not be for you. As we all accept we are all different. For me as soon as I was told what had happened I was saying 'surrogacy . surrogacy'. For me adoption has never been an option for personal reasons. I also will find it hard to accept only having one child until we have failed at host surrogacy.

I have yet to find the way to deal with this being the end of anyone's family. Some things I hear I just know are people trying to convince themselves (and others) when they do not truly believe what they are saying or it has yet to HIT them. You know what that means when it applies to you. When I find some good things to say or ways to help us though, I will write them in.

Here is some information that may help you get started, in some areas. Again in this department I have a lot to share, it has been a very difficult process for our family. Again the only good that has come from it is that I have learnt a lot and so may help others around possible obstacles.

I will hope to write up some of my experiences on the surrogacy route soon. For adoption I know nothing. I do know some very helpful people that have adopted. One was quite a while ago the other nearer our time. I will contact these people and see if they will share their experiences.

So unfortunately I can only offer the following at the moment. It is also really limited to the UK so if you can pass information for other countries feel free to pass that on. If you would like to know further information in these fields, I might be able shed other light so please contact me.

Egg Freezing

For some surrogacy is for them, however not for their husbands. Some people wish to go ahead and freeze their eggs on their own. If a man wishes to freeze his sperm no problem. However until recently (we understand) a woman had to obtain her husbands permission to do this! Are we really in the 21st century? The good news is earlier 2002/3 (I will have to look that one up) the first baby was born using frozen eggs. Eggs are a lot more fragile than embryos so this is one of the reasons the methods have taken longer

Adoption

surrogacy

Some countries / people are opposed to surrogacy. Unfortunately mostly people who have had not fertility problems naturally or imposed. Surrogacy has been happening since biblical times ... they just did not have syringes!

Abraham and Sarah?

Yes, Sarah couldn't have a child, so she suggested her housemaid, Hagar, Hagar became the mother of Ishmael, in Genesis 16:1.

Further on in Genesis there is the story of Jacob, who, when Leah, his wife, stopped having children, Leah suggested he sleep with her maid.

We have heard of possibly it being quite common in an African tribe ... we will endeavour to locate more information regarding this.

I will hope to write up some of my experiences on the surrogacy route soon. For adoption I know nothing. I do know some very helpful people that have adopted. One was quite a while ago the other nearer our time. I will contact these people and see if they will share their experiences.

A more comprehensive guide to surrogacy can be found in our surrogacy section

United Kingdom

Private Clinic for IVF (full fees)

Under NHS rules as far as I know they will not help if you have a child resident with you, even if this child is not genetically yours. So you will have to go to a private clinic.

This is where you can find a list of clinics in the country. It is under the site for Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority at http://www.hfea.gov.uk

Individual clinics are at http://www.hfea.gov.uk/Scripts/WebApp.exe/all

Fees appear to be £2000 - £3000 for an IVF cycle. If you have found a surrogate and so going though it together the fees are between £4500 - £7500 (treatment only of course).

You need a referral letter from your GP to proceed.

Centres for Assisted Reproduction (CARE)

I have recently discovered that there is an organisation called CARE. This is where they undertake egg sharing. In this country it is illegal for a woman to sell her eggs. This clinic the women that has eggs goes though a cycle of IVF. The eggs collected are divided between herself and a lady that requires donor eggs. The fees for IVF are considerably lower than normal. Approximately £500 instead of £2500 - £3000. The clinic I have contacted has never dealt with a hysterectomised person so I can not pass on any experiences yet.

Web address www.care-ivf.com

You need a referral letter from your GP to proceed.

CARE on their site also list other countries that may be able to help, however these are very few.

Surrogacy groups in the UK

UK Surrogacy Friends

Support and information for surrogacy in the UK. A free message board, run by 2 surrogates who have had 4 surro-babies between them.

www.surrogacyuk.com

We have a little information about them. They as a group say they are very friendly and helpful. They have a message board where you are free to ask what you need to, no question is ever too minor. Their joining fees are less than COTS. (Joining costs about £700 as of January 2005 member ship only lasts 2 years)

(One of our group is currently with Surrogacy UK, over a year, however has not been chosen by a (host) surrogate to date)

www.surrogacy.org.uk (COTS)

We can't give you any advice etc about these as we don't yet have experience of them, for information, for you to make your own decisions about. (Joining costs about £1000 as of January 2005)

Can I do surrogacy without a group in the UK?

Some information on what the NHS is planning.

http://www.doh.gov.uk/newsdesk/archive/november/4-naa-30112000.html

(can't quite get the NICE stuff to download ok - need to check this)

http://www.nice.org.uk/pdf/fertilityscope.pdf

America

I understand that for a cycle of IVF it can cost about $10,000. Host (gestation) surrogacy can cost up to $70,000.

There is a clinic that is offering Shared Risk IVF programme. http://www.integramed.com/shared/shared.htm

If they would allow you to do this in conjunction with host (gestation) surrogacy I do not know.